Single Motherhood.

Single Motherhood

Single. Mother. Hood. 

Single while mothering in the the hood 

Mothering self and another at the same time

There are so many layers. 

There are so many stories, and roles, and programs 

We can select and inherit from the label of “single mother” 

There are many common realities about the struggle, the internal and external battles that we as mothers face raising children (mostly) “alone” 

I have support. I have a group. I have a family 

I still feel alone.

I still feel this weight to heavy to bear 

I battle with my mental health 

I fall victim to myself and go down the hole 

I try and raise myself back up 

I sometimes fail 

I sometimes like to stay 

for comfort 

In the story, that makes everything around me 

the reason for my feelings/state/well-being 

I fall victim to the story of the suffering 

I can’t see my way beyond It 

I cope with sleep, sex, and food 

I cope with weed and sleep and sex and more food 

I cope with trips and shopping 

I cope with instant gratification

I cope with lingering into other realities 

via social media or through dreams 

I cope with having real internal moments with self 

I cope with writing my truth and being brave and sharing it 

I cope with acknowledging all the bullshit 

I cope with being gentle with myself 

I cope with therapy and sometimes yoga and breathing and resting 

I cope with massages and taking time for self

I celebrate myself

I put on make up for me

I dance in front of the mirror

I look at me straight in my eye 

I remind myself of my power and my grace 

I see the beauty of my soul 

Being brave, and raising a beautiful bold courages daughter 

I celebrate how far i’ve come and how much more there is to grow

I embrace this moment 

As the only moment that is real 

Regardless of the bullshit, 

If we are co-parenting this week or not 

I still enjoy this 

I still love this 

I am learning how to do this better

Each and every day 

Showing up for her and for me 

Bigger, better, stronger 

With more knowledge of self 

Trusting the whisper of my soul 

Mothering. Alone. In the Hood. 

Single Motherhood. 

Could I have waited?

Could I have waited for you?

For a thousand years 

I just needed to know what I was waiting for 

And that you were waiting too 

I would have waited 

I would have held you 

I would have nurtured, tended to, planted, cared for

Loved in between all the messes 

I would have brought my own mop 

And swept all your entanglements 

I would have showered you with unconditional love 

Knowing that yours could have been conditioned 

And always in your favor 

I would have found and gently caressed the deepest of your wounds

I would have given my breath for you to give life to the new you 

I would have listened to your truth as it stabs through my heart 

Like a sharp knife dives so easily through butter 

I would have poured and poured my love onto you to show you 

that nothing could change my heart 

I would have gladly lost my Self 

In sake of your well-being 

But not for your ego 

not for your Manliness 

Not for your elevation and status 

I would have stayed 

I would have waited like a child awaits the return of their parent

Filled with a love so pure that wraps your entire being in what feels like GOD 

But had I waited 

I wouldn’t have anything left 

There would be no me 

The ashes of my remainder would 

Serve your as a reminder that 

My love for you is True 

I would have gladly waited 

had you just said the word 

Quitting Before You Start

Ooo those words hurt when I first heard them cut through my ego.

I have started writing my first blog at least 19 times in the past year. But I never finish the text, I never publish it, I never post it, I never do anything other than talk about all the things I want to be doing.

I see how much that is showing up in all other areas of my life. What can we truly say we put in our heart and soul into?


I have to start today. right now, this moment. I have to just do it. As uncomfortable it is to imagine my words living somewhere other than my mind. My ideas, my dreams, my desires, my longings. All those are so close I can taste them, but I’ve been tasting them for sometime now. Now it’s time to eat the damn cake.

But to eat the cake, you gotta make and bake the cake. that takes time, dedication, discipline, all them other words that sound like too much work so we quit before we start.

This is where I am at right now. The world is our oyster, but is on us to work with the Universe and CO-CREATE the life and dreams we desire. Co-Creation as in you got to put in work too.

I’m excited for the journey, thanks for reading my words.

with Love & Dedication